“Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Chevrolet”, is a jingle from the now long gone era of General Motors greatness, but the sentiment from that little ditty may have inspired the Obama Administration’s latest attempt at diplomacy.

A State Department memo went out to all U.S. embassies and consulates last week telling our nation’s diplomats they could invite their Iranian counterparts to a good old-fashioned Fourth of July BBQ featuring all things American:  fireworks, hot dogs, hamburgers, apple pie, and apparently a whole lot of bull.

One can only imagine the actual invitation for such an event, as laid out by the Obamaniacs:

TO OUR IRANIAN FRIENDS:

YOU’RE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO A FOURTH OF JULY PARTY TO CELEBRATE EVERYTHING BOTH YOU AND PRESIDENT OBAMA HATE ABOUT AMERICA

Freedom

Independence

Free Speech

Freedom of Religion (particularly the freedom of those who practice Christianity)

Hot Dogs

Apple Pie, etc.

Perhaps, the Obama people will seize upon this as yet another opportunity to appease Islamic extremists through apologies and genuflecting.  Since there is nothing about President Obama’s makeup that would indicate “The One” would be happy with something as simple, humble, and all-American as a back-yard BBQ, we should expect the Obama road crew and groupies to kick it up a notch. 

Imagine this:  As Iranian diplomats the world over are chowing down on smoked brisket, potato salad and cole slaw for the first time, Obama will appear on stadium-sized television screens via a live satellite feed from the Nokia Theatre in Hollywood.  Obama will stand on the stage of American Idol (a show he is convinced is named for him) and will take the opportunity to apologize for all of the traditions, values, and ideals that Americans have held dear these past 200 plus years.

Obama can start with an apology for baseball and classify it as “torture” taking it off the table as an enhanced interrogation technique along with “waterboarding” and speaking in a harsh tone . 

Obama can tell the Iranian diplomats he’s sorry for Apple Pie and Hot Dogs, particularly those of the pork variety.  The President can condemn all Americans who will proudly fly the Stars and Stripes this Fourth of July, and assure our Iranian friends that everyone in engaging such an activity will immediately be placed on a Homeland Security watch list as “Right-Wing Extremists”. 

Then in Obama’s new-found position as CEO of GM, he can offer the Iranians reparations for America’s past atrocities by giving each of them a brand new Chevrolet and a personal stimulus package. 

Imagine the outpouring of tears and applause such actions would elicit from the lap dog American media alone. 

Then again, perhaps the Obama crowd came upon this BBQ Diplomacy with the actual belief that it would do some good.  Perhaps they really believe that just one taste of a plump grilled Ball Park Frank will turn the tide of Islamic extremism forever. 

Maybe the Obama bunch actually think that Iranian diplomats the world over will run back to Ahmadinejad and beg him to forgo his desires to wipe Israel off the map, and to give up his belief that he is the Qur’an’s prophecied harbinger of the Apocalypse. 

The diplomats will urge Ahmadinejad to dismantle his nuclear program in exchange for a lifetime supply of K.C. Masterpiece BBQ Sauce.  Who knows?  It may work.

After Obama has done away with our dependency on foreign oil by telling us all to add air to our tires, as opposed to silly ideas like drilling for own oil.  Just last week, the Obama administration ended global warming by stating we could stop the whole thing simply by painting our roof tops white. 

In the spirit of helping our President succeed, I think it is now incumbent upon all Americans to help our President come with more bone-headed schemes for solving the world's problems.  While we're at it we should also help the Obama crowd come up with an exhaustive list of things for which we apologize.

I've got a few:  Electricity.  If not for Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison, we Americans wouldn't enjoy the benefits of electricity that our less fortunate friends in other parts of the world do without.  We owe them all an apology.

Here's another:  When Obama is at the D-Day Commemoration he could apologize to the people of France because America littered the Normandy coast with all those offensive Crosses marking the graves of fallen G.I.'s. 

Folks, you can’t make this stuff up.  It would be a great joke if all of this didn’t make such a joke out of our once great nation.

Got any ideas or thoughts of your own that the Obama administration may want to embrace?  Send them to Publisher@TheCypressTimes.com