By Chef Vern

Alright, here's the deal.  Since Thanksgiving was just four weeks ago and since Turkey generally tastes like cardboard covered with gravy and since Americans aren't real big on a Christmas Goose, I'm thinkin' you're thinkin' ham for Christmas.

Now if there's one thing a true Southern Cook knows it's how to make a good possum stew...if there's two things a true Southern Cook knows, it's how to make a tasty ham.

Here's the secret.  It's really easy.

First, go the store.

Second, get one of those spiral sliced Hams that the store sells. 

Third, follow the dang' ol directions on the ham.  A dense monkey could figure it out.  If you can read, and have a stove, you can make a ham. 

The glaze is the real trick.  You see Ham's just a hunk of pig.  No mystery there.  You stick it in the oven and get it done....or if you prefer...get-r-done!   Again, there isn't a ham sold at any grocery store in America that doesn't include basic, simple instructions on how to cook it. 

So what about that glaze? 

If you buy a Spiral-Sliced Ham at the store it'll come with a "glaze packet" which isn't bad.  To make it better add some honey.  Add about four tablespoons of honey and then follow the directions.  You'll be hailed as a culinary genius.

Now for something completely different, toss out the store bought glaze and get this:

1 Cup Jalapeno Jelly (For those of you outside of Texas this is a wonderful Jelly made from Jalapeno Peppers) OR if you're too timid for jalapenos, try an Orange Marmalade, or Apricot Jelly. Any of those work with this recipe.

1 Teaspoon of Dry Mustard

1/2 Teaspoon of ground Allspice

2 Tablespoons of Vinegar

1 dash of Soy Sauce.

Combine all of these ingredients in a bowl and beat by hand until mixed well, then beat it a little more for good measure.  Beat it like a rented mule!

Now, go back to those ham instructions.  Regardless of the type of ham you're cooking, when there is just 20 minutes left on the cook time, pull the ham out of the oven and baste it liberally with your glaze, but be sure to hang on to about a third of the glaze.

Put the ham back in the oven.  When the timer dings, turn the temperature of the oven up to 425 degrees.  Use the remaining glaze to bast the ham again.  Stick it back in the oven for 10 minutes.

When the time dings again, remove the ham, cool, eat.  Enjoy!!!

About Chef Vern -

Chef Vern is a Texas born and bred chef who makes Paula Dean look like she's from New York City!!