I know a guy who says, “Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go first.” Unfortunately, that’s probably how most of us, including believers, feel. What if we changed our thinking instead and looked at it exactly the opposite way? Think back to when you were a child anxiously counting the days in anticipation for Christmas or your birthday party or your first trip to Disney….

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I remember as a little girl lying under the tree, staring at the twinkling lights and glistening ornaments. I remember hearing the reindeer on our roof as visions of sugar plums danced in my head. I was always the first one awake ready to open presents and experience the magic of that most special day. Even now as an adult I’ve been accused of going overboard with decorations, with my motto being, “When you think you have just enough lights, add more. You can never overdo it!”

Here’s something else you can’t overdo…love.

My son’s father (my ex-husband), is battling cancer right now. Our little boy, Wesley, is only eleven years old. While we have explained to him in terms he can comprehend that his daddy is sick, we haven’t gone into a whole lot of detail because we don’t want to worry him unnecessarily. He may only be eleven, but he is wise beyond his years and we know this would plague him night and day. Maybe he’s the one teaching us something, though, because it seems like I learn something new from him every day.

This past week he and his daddy, Steve, went on vacation to West Texas to visit Wesley’s Grandma Ruth. Wesley and Steve were lying down in bed and talking, and then they said their prayers and were about to fall asleep. In the still of that room, with the only noise in that room being the sound of the ceiling fan, Wesley asked Steve, “Dad, are you afraid to die?”

Steve was taken aback by the directness and innocence of the question and then simply answered, “No, son, because I know after I take my last breath on this earth, my next breath will be in heaven and I’ll see Jesus face to face.”

That answer made sense to Wesley and he simply replied, “You know, Dad, we’re all just counting the days until we get to see Jesus.” The room went back to only the silence of the ceiling fan.

I have cried and cried until I didn’t think I had any tears left. I can’t bear to think of Wesley losing his dad at such a tender young age and how it could affect him for the rest of his life. I have begged God to spare Steve’s life and to heal him for Wesley’s sake. As his mother it tears my heart out to know the hardest thing in his young life may be right in front of him, sooner than it should be. It hurts me to know there’s nothing I can do to spare him from the pain.

But maybe I’m looking at it from the wrong perspective. Maybe I need to change the way I see it. Maybe I need to get my childlike anticipation back. Maybe I need to start counting the days.