There have been many times, a story I heard years ago, crosses my mind. It seems there was a large storm that came through an area and put out all the electricity. This happened on a Sunday afternoon and the president of the electric company called out one of his workers to repair the wires that had fallen… As the president visited with his company at his home, the worker came to the door and called him out on the porch. From there, the worker gave the president one of the worst tongue lashing of his life. “You so and so! Who do you think you are calling me out on a Sunday?! I don’t care if you are the president!” He continued on from there for about five minutes. During that time, the president of the company said nothing; he just listened to what the man had to say. After a while the man cooled down and the president thanked him for his service and he left… As he went back into the house, his company, who had heard everything, sat in shock. The president simply looked at them and chuckled. “The man got a little hot didn’t he?” he said smiling.

Lately, I’ve been studying on what the Bible has to say about controlling our tongues. Sounds easy enough just reading it, but I also couldn’t help but be flooded with all the things I’ve spouted out over my life, when I probably should have kept silent.

When someone really gets us stirred up, one of two things are going to happen - we’re going to either bite a hole through our lip or we’re going to say something we’ll live to regret. So many times, I’ve popped out with a comment or retaliation only to think that very second, “I wish I hadn’t said that!” Too late then though; the fight is usually on.

Many day’s I’ve been lashed out at and knew I was in the right and was confident enough that I knew I could even win the argument, but the Lord put a hush on things. Bible verses flooded my mind and I struggled with my self and my urge to spout off.

In my job as city planner, when a person comes in to see me or calls, 90% of the time, there is a problem with something. Now, I’ve had to ask many people to calm down and watch their language so we could get down to business. I always try to assure them that I’m there to help them if they’ll just let me do that.

There are many types of people I deal with. Some are working class citizens, some are business owners, some elderly, and some are the very wealthy. No matter who they are, there is one thing about all of them - they can get very angry. When this happens, there are three things I always try to do. One, I invite them into my office; that way, we can talk one on one. People tend to blow up more when there is a crowd around. When you can talk one on one, things are always much different. Two, I pull them up a chair and sometimes, I even sit that chair on the same side of the desk as I sit This lets them know I am willing to work with them and am on the same side as they are. Third, I listen to their problem. I let them get everything out, while I give them my full attention. Usually, even if you can’t help the person out, they just need someone to listen to them. And, if they’re angry, they’ll eventually run out of steam.

I can remember one instance, I pulled up into the parking lot of city hall and a man met me outside. He opened the door of his car and unleashed a fury of cuss words, then began to downgrade me… I knew what the guy was there about and I had expected him to be there. I also knew that the problem could be worked out. Instead of getting angry, we made our way to my office and when he left out, he was shaking my hand, asking about my family and looking forward to seeing me again soon… I won’t say I wasn’t tempted to jump in there and make a few points to the man, but I resisted and came out the better for it. I know I could have argued with the man and probably come out ahead, but what would I have gained from it??? Certainly not the man’s friendship, which I now have.

I joked with one of my friends at church this week. I brought up to him that I had remembered my lesson on the tongue and applied it. I told him I took a chewing at work this week and kept my mouth shut the whole time. Never said a word out of line to the guy and also, the chewing wasn’t even meant for me; it should have went to someone else, and I didn’t say a word to that guy either. Lol.

It is never fun to be on the receiving end of someone’s anger or attacks, but if we can control our tongue during these times, I think the pride of doing so will always outweigh the victory of being right and the hurt from losing a friend or relationship. It’s not an easy thing to do, but if we weren’t faced with opposition, would we ever grow stronger or become better Christians and individuals?

All for now friends,

Kip

“Give thy thoughts no tongue.” William Shakespeare