I keep a quote by Bill Cosby in my mind at all times. It says: “I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” And in my line of work, I have to repeat this to myself many times. Criticism, anger and outright bashing are just something that goes with the job. The world of politics can be a cruel place. And even the word “Politics” can brand you from the get go.
Several times, I’ve sat through a church service and bit my lip or tongue when the speaker has said, “All politicians are crooks and liars. They’re no good I tell you.” But believe it or not, I know plenty of them who really care and actually do something that is unheard of today - they actually pray to the Lord to guide them.
I always smile when the mail comes in at work and the envelope has a no return address. I know immediately this will be what I call “Fan Mail.” The kind of fan mail where the person is “NOT” your fan and usually does not sign their name to the letter. They just want to give you a piece of your mind.
The local forums are the worst too. Imagine clicking on them and seeing your name as the main topic. Not just in one city either, but in two. Being bashed by nameless people like “guest001,” or “LMBO.” Never a real name though. So viscous, they always bring me a chuckle as I realize that there are very few people who are man or woman enough to put their name behind what they really think.
Many times I have made a decision only to be criticized afterwards. Not so long ago I was verbally assaulted by an out of control adult for a project I got passed by the city council. Let me tell you, I have never, nor ever thought a grown man could throw such a temper tantrum. I was too much in shock to get angry. I didn’t know whether to leave or stick a pacifier in his mouth. Anyways, I chose to leave. You can’t deal with someone like that when they’re in that sort of state.
These are just a few of the things I face on a daily basis. You can not please everyone and in my opinion, you should never try. If you are a leader, you have been put in that position for a reason, to decide what is best for everyone. You have to show justice and mercy. You have to choose what will benefit people in the long run, even if it makes some of them hate you. You have to trust yourself to do what is right and if you ever find yourself saying, “This is going to make this person mad, or this one upset, so I shouldn’t do it, even though I know it should be done,” you can bet you are headed towards a failure.
I have developed some thick skin over the years and have experienced just about every type of assault except getting shot at (so far). I don’t let people rent space in my head and I usually sleep good at night, no matter what happened that day or night. But, the one thing I do not like is that sometimes people feel they have to go after my family or friends because they hate me.
This week, my six year old daughter experienced a little of that at school.
Late one afternoon, I heard my cell phone ring. It showed my daughter’s daycare was calling. “I hope everything is okay,” I thought as I answered. It was my little girl and she was mad as could be. She was wearing one of my campaign buttons and a little kid made a crude remark about it. I’m sure he had heard it from his parents, but he called me a name to her and she was fit to be tied. I asked her to slow down talking and asked what it was he called me? She stopped for a minute and said, “He said you were stupid.” I began to laugh and thought, “Well, if that’s the worst I’ve been called, it’s been a good day.” My daughter was not amused by my laughter and said, “I need to explain something to you… When someone calls you stupid it is not a funny thing. Why are you acting like this?!” She was really getting angry with ME now. I told her I’d talk to her more about it when I picked her up and to not worry about it.
Later that afternoon, we had a long talk about “thick skin” and how some people are just not going to like you sometimes. I know she understood a lot of it, but I know she still has a lot to learn too… Hey, so do I.
I will say this though. For every one complaint I do get, I usually get five thank you’s or good job’s. It’s not all negative, but sometimes it gets rough. I always joke with my mother. She has a tendency to want to go and get a hold of someone after they’ve bashed me. I say, “Mom, what are people going to think if my Mother jumps in there and fights for me?? I can handle myself.” lol. She is pretty tough though. Sometimes I’m tempted to take her up on the offers. Lol.
My advice to you, no matter what your job title or line of work, is to always do the best that you can do. Do what you feel is right within you and always, always ask God for the guidance, wisdom and discernment that you will need each day. He’s good at giving you what you need. He even supplies “thick skin” to us from time to time.
All for now friends,
Kip
"Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain -1835-1910, Humorist and Writer
