Last week, Abby and I had date night. We had dinner at this great little restaurant and then headed to the movies. We thought we were seeing a love story, but instead watched a movie about a couple falling apart. Toward the end of the movie, one partner said to the other, “the problem is that we have stopped really seeing each other, instead we see projections of one another.”

Although the movie was not the love story we expected, we both were hit by the incredible truth of this statement. How often do we stop really seeing the person we love (be it your spouse, children, or friend) and instead see a really distorted projection of that person that you have mentally constructed?

Okay read the question again, slowly, and then answer honestly.

For many of us, we often do this. Instead of seeing the people we love, we see who we have made them to be. I don’t think this is how it’s supposed to be.

Instead of seeing the spouse we married, we see the person who always forgets to take out the garbage and is never home on time. Instead of seeing these beautiful children God gave us, we see passengers who need us to take them everywhere or a diaper to be changed. Instead of seeing a good friend, we see someone who is probably calling to ask us another favor. Our ‘seeing’ gets so distorted so quickly.

Jewish philosopher Martin Buber writes this about relationships: the greatest thing any person can do for another is to confirm the deepest thing in him, in her- to take the time and have the discernment to see what’s most deeply there, most fully that person, and then confirm it by recognizing and encouraging it.

I think this is how God intended for us to see things.

I think this is how Jesus saw things. He did not see another woman begging to be healed, he saw someone in need of love. He did not see children as a task, but as possibility. He did not see his disciples as this rag tag group of could have beens, but as support for his difficult journey. He does not see us the way we see us, but instead as the perfect creation, capable of so much.

This week, take time to see things this way. Take time to live out Buber’s vision, to see the deepest thing in those around us and encourage them to live it out.

May we be people who really see, see the deep, the possibility, and live with the vision of our Jesus.