It’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking and adopt a woe-is-me attitude when you’re balancing caregiving with the other demands of life. So it might be helpful to honestly assess where you fall on a positive/negative continuum. Often our attitudes, actions, and reactions need a little refurbishing. While an extreme make-over might not be in order, following are some areas to consider:

Readjust Your Outlook

It’s easy to get into the habit of criticizing others or viewing everything negatively. Negative thoughts create a sense of defeat. But you have the option of changing your outlook and your attitude. Perhaps the tone of voice you use with your parents, spouse, children, coworkers, or service personnel could use a spit shine. Or maybe your self-perception and self-talk needs a good dusting. God created each of us with unique gifts and talents. Wipe away the layers of doubt regarding your worth. Adopt an attitude of thankfulness for the positive elements in your life.

Revamp Your Actions

When our attitudes stink, our actions often follow along. Sometimes we drop into a pattern of behaving certain ways without even thinking how our actions affect others. Does your body language project an image of superiority, arrogance, or impatience? If you get angry easily or make decisions impulsively, slow down and think before acting. Imagine the results your actions will have on you and those around you. It may take great effort to behave differently, but give it a try and notice the resulting improvement in your life.

Reconsider Words

Many of us consistently wound others with our words. On some level, this may be intentional, but it is more likely because we’re simply stressed, in a hurry, and oblivious to how what we say and how we say it affects others. Our aging parents are particularly sensitive to tone of voice, and impatience is frequently the emotion that zings through our words. It will take a conscious effort, but you can work on verbally conveying love and care rather than impatience and annoyance.

Refocus Your Vision

It’s easy to get self-focused and fail to see the hurts and needs of those around us. Yet there are times when we could offer a few words of encouragement that would make a huge difference in the life of someone who is struggling. Despite the busyness of your schedule and the demands of caregiving, be available to listen to others. When focused totally on our own situation, we lose touch with others and forget we’re not the only ones with challenges. We all need motivation to look beyond the tiny boxes of our own lives and reach out to others. Interaction with others helps gain perspective and bring moments of revelation and joy.

Restore Relationships

All of us have difficult, high-maintenance people in our lives. Conflict feeds on reruns of old offenses. Constantly dwelling on past controversial incidents leads to more conflict. None of us like to admit we might be to blame, even partially, for problems in relationships. Sometimes, restoring a broken relationship seems to involve more effort than it’s worth. But if you’re willing to take the first step, you may be able to rebuild that relationship. Offer an olive branch. Don’t try to rehash the whole incident. Just tell the person you’re sorry for the rift and would like to move forward. If the other person is unwilling, this may be as far as it goes, but at least you’ve made an effort at restoration. While you can’t change others, you can change your response to conflict, and you can choose to forgive.

Reconnect Spiritually

Frequently, our spiritual lives are the most uncared for area. We get so caught up in what seems urgent that a thick layer of dust forms on the spiritual element. Now is a great time to reconnect spiritually. Start by asking God to show you areas in your faith walk that need renovation. Attend a Bible study. Make worship a priority. You’ll discover that remodeling your spiritual life brings a more positive perspective to other areas as well.

By giving attention to these aspects of your life, you can successfully restructure your attitudes and actions, thus enhancing the overall quality of your life.

Portions of this article excerpted from When Your Aging Parent Needs Care: Practical Help for This Season of Life by Candy Arrington and Kim Atchley (Harvest House Publishers). www.whenyouragingparentneedscare.com