Life is a balancing Act.
As Baby Boomers, we’re part of the “Sandwich Generation,” walking the tight rope between balancing our own lives with caring for aging parents. Some still have children living at home. Others are also caring for grandchildren. Perhaps, instead, we are the “Club Sandwich Generation,” forcefully squeezed between extra slices of additional responsibility. No matter how many roles you fill, your life is probably a mixture of complicated relationships, communication issues, challenging schedules, frustrations, and joys.
Your assent to the caregiving role may be a slow climb to a high platform, or it may be thrust on you suddenly like a shot out of a cannon. Regardless of how you arrive at this point, you may feel you’re taking the first teetering steps onto a tight rope with no balance pole for support. The opposite platform may seem far away. Don’t panic. Don’t look down. There are those who have navigated this journey ahead of you and are willing to share a wealth of wisdom and encouragement as you take the first tentative steps.
Over the next weeks, we’ll look at various aspects of balancing your roles and responsibilities—from the intricacies of role reversal, the complexities of healthcare concerns and financial decisions to how you carve out time to rest and refresh. Hopefully, you’ll discover humor is an integral component in successfully navigating this season of life. So join me. I promise we’ll have a good time and perhaps you’ll learn something that benefits your attempts at caregiving as well as other areas of life.
For today, let’s look at “balance,” a word that is bandied about but often without any practical steps for accomplishing this goal. When I think of balance, an image from childhood comes to mind. My mother had a decorative scale similar to the one prominent on the justice emblem. She kept frosted glass grapes on each side of the scale. The slightest touch of a grape usually resulted in tipping the scale to one side. Then, no matter how carefully you adjusted the grapes, it was almost impossible to get the sides equally balanced again. That’s the way it is with trying to maintain balance in our lives. One little change tips the scale.
Here are some ways to regain your balance:
• Realize you don’t have to do it all - Soon after I began caring for my mother, I was asked to be on a labor-intensive committee at church. Although I wanted to accept, I knew what the stress would do to me, so I declined. Most of us try to do much more than is reasonably possible. When you step into a caregiving role, other commitments need to go. Learn to say “no.”
• Know and accept your limitations – Caregiving is draining both physically and emotionally. There are some things you can’t do without help, yet many of us don’t like to ask for assistance. But asking for help is not a sign of weakness or failure; it’s the wise thing to do.
• Let go of perfectionism – Now is a good time to let go of perfectionist tendencies. If you are serving as a caregiver, trying to do everything to perfection in multiple roles is a sure recipe for frustration. Remember, you are your own worst critic.
• Don’t neglect spiritual nourishment – With the many tasks and responsibilities, it’s easy to reason there is no time for spiritual connection. Instead, this is the time you need it most. Carve out time to read the Bible and pray. You’ll gain strength for the journey.
• Embrace rest – God modeled rest. Genesis 2:2 tells us after a hard week of work, God rested. Realize that others can fill your caregiving role and it’s important for you to step away from your duties at least once a week to rest and regroup. Having time to rest will make a big difference in your energy level and mental and emotional well-being.
