Dear Dr. B,

I recently recommitted my life to Christ. Before, I was so stupid and I chose to turn my back on God. I recently came to my senses and asked God to forgive me. I believe He heard my prayers, but now I am confused because of a sermon I heard. The minister said that before a person is born, God predetermines a single plan their life. Does that mean that I ‘blew it’ because I chose to turn from God in rebellion? Now, I am feeling guilty and wonder if I will ever have a meaningful relationship with Christ again. Will God give me a second chance?

Signed, Hogan

Dear Hogan,

To begin with, you should discover what the Bible has to say rather than what you hear from men (see 2 John 9, Amplified Translation). You need to know that God loves you and has forgiven you of your past sins. St. John clearly shares concerning God’s amazing love for all us when he wrote, ‘If we confess our sins, he is ...

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Dear Dr. B,

Recently I attended the wedding of a co-worker’s daughter. As a devout Hindu I became deeply concerned in regards to some remarks made by the officiating minister. As I recall, he told the young couple that once they became husband and wife they were to separate from their parents and have nothing more to do with them. He seemed to base his comments on two Bible passages, which he read to them. As I stated, I was shocked and concerned because in my culture parents are accepted as an intricate part of their children’s lives, even after they marry. My question to you is, ‘Does the Bible really teach this or was he basing his statements on an American custom?’

Sincerely,

Sadar

Dear Sadar,

Based upon your comments, it is highly probable that the minister chose as his texts Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5. With only slight variations, both of them pretty much say the same thing. In...

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Dear Dr. B,

I feel like I have been a failure as a father. One of my daughters has totally rejected me. Our other children have never caused my wife or me any trouble. They are serving God and are well behaved. The one daughter, however, says she hates us. She has gotten into drugs, drinking, and no telling what else! She blames me for her unhappiness. Where have I failed her?

Signed,

Phil

Dear Phil,

Every parent has made some pretty stupid mistakes in rearing their children. It is sad, but not uncommon for a family to have one of their children behaving as your daughter. Recently a brother and sister were faced with a very hurtful experience. Their father, who was the president of a company, embezzled a great sum of money from that company. His actions were reported in the local newspapers and other news outlets. The family was mortified by what he had done. Amazingly, the dau...

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Dear Doctor B,

Recently my husband formed a business with a man and the business failed. We not only lost all of our savings, but now we have huge debts that we will be paying off for the rest of our lives. If I don’t get over my anger and distrust, it will destroy our marriage. I’ve prayed, but I can’t trust him. Can you help me?

Signed,

Belinda

Dear Belinda,

I hear you when you say you can’t trust your husband anymore. In a ‘natural/human sense’ I agree with you. Without God’s help it is humanly impossible to forgive or trust him. Consider the teachings of Jesus. Peter asked, “Lord how many times should I forgive someone that has offended me?” Jesus told Peter that he should be willing to keep on forgiving no matter how many times he was offended, (Matthew 18-21; Matthew 6:12-16). Consider re-phrasing your statement. Is it that you can’t or you won’t? Is your marriage worth working through these feelings? If you’r...

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Dear Dr. B,

I was shocked recently when a neighbor asked me, ‘What’s all the fuss about Easter?’ He knows that we are a Christian family, and I don’t think he was being facetious. His question completely took me off guard, and I wasn’t happy with my answer. The next time the opportunity arrives, I want to give him something more to consider. Any suggestions?

Signed, 

Caught Off Guard

Dear Caught Off Guard,

Don’t be too hard on yourself.  All of us have had the same type of experience.  ‘Thinking on our feet often leaves us sitting on our posterior!’  I would advise you to become familiar with the Easter narrative, which is found in the Gospels. Saint Paul’s writings will provide you with good historical reflections concerning Jesus’ crucifixion, burial and resurrection. Did you know that the historical Church has consistently held that the resurrection of Jesus Christ is the corner stone of Christianity
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Dear Dr. B,

Recently, while going to lunch with a friend, our car was almost struck by another car. My friend shouted out, ‘Good grief! That guy needs to learn how to drive.’  After things calmed down, I jokingly asked him if he really thought that grief was good. We both laughed and began to share some of the disappointments that had occurred in our lives. We both concurred that there was ‘zero value’ in grief of any kind.  As a Christian, I have thought a lot about our discussion that day. It seems as if our conclusion might have had something missing.  Do you think that grief could ever be good? Would the Bible give me some insight on the subject?  

Sincerely,

Michael

Dear Michael,

Good grief.  You have asked some very intriguing questions!

Please know that I’m not minimizing your sincerity or the importance of your questions. I merely repeated the phrase in order to emphasize the fact th...

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Dear Dr. B,

I have done many terrible things to my friends and family. I cannot believe that I have been so stupid and selfish. I recently accepted Christ as my Lord, but I am still dealing with guilt. I want to try and restore my broken relationships, but I don’t know how to do it. Lately I’ve been thinking that I may be beyond forgiveness. Please help me.

Sincerely, Jayme 

Dear Jayme,

It is good that you have chosen to be responsible for your selfish behavior. Your desire to be a responsible person will pay you great dividends and will bring healing to those whom you have offended. It is going to take some time before you sort out some of your feelings, but trust God to help you. Let’s begin with your inner struggle with guilt. 

Saint Paul addressed this matter in his letter to the Christians in Rome. “For if you tell others with your own mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and believe in your ow...

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